Spiritual Growth, Uncategorized

Inside Out

Well, here goes my first blog post.  I thought that I’d review all the information and learn a ton about how to use this blog and set a bunch of stuff up..but, alas, the need to write is more overwhelming that the need to know.  Sounds like ready, fire aim doesn’t it?

It’s been a week.  Not a bad one.  But, not one of my favorite kinds of weeks.  It’s been a week where I have been personally and intimately challenged.  For moments, ok a few hours, ok a couple of days..I just went weak and whiney.  A dear red headed friend worked her butt off trying to lift me up with truths about God and I just wanted to whine instead of grab the truth and get out of the ditch.  She still loves me, despite that resistance.

So, I spent the better part of Thursday and Friday, praying because I couldn’t praise and just trying to hang on until weak and whiney passed.

Part 1

In the late afternoon or early evening, I checked my email.  Lo and behold, finally a response from Evotri.  Evotri is an endurance sport group that holds a contest every couple of years for athletes.  You submit a 5 minute video and from the video they select a new team member.  This is cool because getting selected for a team is always cool (not that I would know because I’ve never been on a sports team in my life, but I’m sure it’s always cool when you are) and they also give the new team member an outrageous package of Tri goods – like nearly $10k worth of fast stuff.  Well, the email gave me the news that they did not pick me.

Now, you know I’m already weak and whiney..so this should have sent me deeper into the ditch wouldn’t you think?  Well, I had literally about 5-10 minutes of hmmm, I’m disappointed.  And mostly the disappointment came because darn it I WANT race wheels and losing meant no race wheels.  But, the disappointment over not being selected, that passed ever so quickly.

I truly believe and just as importantly know, that if I didn’t win, then it isn’t in God’s plan for me.  And, you know, God’s plan is what’s best for me.  So, stay tuned…God will show up in response to this and we’ll get to see what He really wants for me.

Part 2

My life is busy.  Aren’t we all?  I’m privleged and blessed to be busy with really GOOD things.  However, I am overwhelmed and the sensation is that of being flooded.  Some days I’m ok with knowing there’s much out there I need to do and didn’t get to and other days, that knowledge strikes a cord of fear and feeling out of control.

This morning, I woke up with a certain peace and hung out in my favorite corner of the living room for some devotional time with God.  Well, He gave me some nuggets that I want to share.  The nuggets are simple, but I’m very sure not easy.  I am also very, very sure that when (not if) I live my days like He instructed me this morning…then I will live my days in peace.  Peace, I really like that concept. Not as in peaceful and still and not exciting..but as in peacefully exciting.  Kind of like swimming in open water.  The chop is on the surface, but just below the surface, the water is very calm.

Inside Out – one day, I’m writing a book with this title and today’s nugget just drives home the significance of how everything happens from the inside out.

My choice is to surrender to the overwhelming circumstances in my life or to rise above.  To surrender is not an option.  So I must rise.  But how?  That’s what I was asking God this morning to answer for me.

Here’s the question God gave me this morning:  WHO is driving your pace and WHO is driving your choices?

Ouch and Wow.  Is God driving my pace and choice (inside).  Or, are others driving my pace and choice (outside)?

The answer was clear – I am letting the outside drive too much of my pace and my pace is driving my choices. So, if my pacing is wrong then my choices aren’t right either.

Here’s more.  I’ve been reading a book by Francis Chan called Forgotten God.  It is about the Holy Spirit.  As a Christ follower, I have the Holy Spirit, which is God INSIDE me.  So, if God is to drive my pace and choice (and I can’t think of any Being better to do this can you?  I’m quite certain I don’t want to be in charge!!) I simply need to ask God to drive my pace and my choices each day.  If I ask, He’ll answer.

I know my priorities, I don’t always make choices that line up with them.  Here they are, listed in groups from Inside to Outside.

Group 1 – my  relationship with God

Group 2 – my nutrition and physical health, my marriage, finances and home

Group 3 – my family, friends, church and  my triathlon training

Group 4  – work and serve others – my job and my community

When I keep Group 1 and 2 in priority, then 3 and 4 stay manageable!  When I am sloppy and short with 1 and 2 then 3 and 4 get overwhelming.

I recently read a quote that says, “how we live our days, is how we live our lives”. That is oh so true. For so many, life slips them by, because days slip them by.  When days slip by we don’t become who we truly aspire to become or who God planned for us to become.

Oh not me. I want each day to add up and become a great life that has made a lasting and eternal difference!

I’m going to let God drive my pace and drive my choices!

8 thoughts on “Inside Out”

  1. I am SO happy you’ve ventured into blogging!

    Even I can’t wait to see what God has planned for you.

    59 lucky people gave a serious vote of confidence in you just this quarter. We believe in you. Obviously God believes in you.

    On an airplane when they give the in case of emergency instructions we are told to FIRST put air mask on self, then assist those in our care. You have to take care of you (i.e. your priorities) first. The rest will follow.

  2. I don’t think that it was important to get all the info and then blog.I think what you wrote was fantastic,and I am looking forward to more.
    ILU
    RP

  3. On this Saturday morning your words reminded me not to fall short of thanking Jesus Christ but more importantly to remember that the fire inside of me the Holy Spirit has been dimmed lately and I need the Holy Spirit more than ever these days. Thank you

  4. Hope this doesn’t come across as odd, but I’m proud of you… For a vast many reasons, not the least of which is your continual ability to not bench yourself when the game gets tough .. but to grab the bat and step back up to the plate. To continue with a baseball analogy… you will face fiercer pitchers and there will be games when you’ll question whether or not you’re prepared and equipped and ready to get in there for a clutch at-bat, but where you stand out is you KNOW your Coach .. and you understand how well-coached you are .. even when sometimes it’s difficult to listen. I’m proud of you for going to your Coach for counsel, I’m proud of you for listening to your Coach and for “adjusting your batting stance”, if you will. Here’s the thing about being a part of THE Team … you’ve got a lot of teammates around you!! Granted, your ‘mates can’t give you what your Coach provides, but they will always be here for you … hitting streak or batting slump alike … don’t hesitate to slip back to the dugout once in a while for a pep talk from a ‘mate…

    OK, enough w/baseball. Segue to an open water swimming analogy — “chop” isn’t always just what we see on the surface of the water; it can be what the swimmer takes into the lake with him/her… but we never swim alone, do we? While God ultimately calms the waters before you, don’t ever forget you don’t need to deal with chop alone… plenty of fellow swimmers to help lead you to stiller waters…

    Live today well, my friend.

  5. I’m with Joni. I’m very proud of you and your dedication to listen then follow Jesus is inspiring to me. Bless you, dear daughter, as you continue to follow in His steps. I’m behind you with much prayer. Love you,

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